When asked whether his latest statements have anything to do with the fact that he is German and that his chief speech writer and spiritual advisor was the recently pardoned holocaust denier Richard Williamson. The Pope replied: "I'm 82 you know".

When asked how he suggested Israel be wiped off the map, his Holiness replied: "Ahh, good question, um, condoms, oh wait, lack of condoms, banning condoms, it's one of those isn't it?".

Speaking from his Los Angeles mansion, a drunk, naked and slurring Mel Gibson was quoted as saying: "You go Popie, see I told I was right about those damn Jews". He then passed out in a pot plant.