Fighting Fair In Relationships

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	Fighting Fair In Relationships
drjamie03
3-13-2007 3:13 PM
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tags:
fair fighting, relationships, conflict
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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/8f7e6988-2085-4e1d-b294-4f8f51c4d738/145096DF-8433-47D4-B672-57F79DCD2106/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html" href="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html" style="font-size: 11px;">www.utexas.edu</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html"><H3 align="center"><A name="anchor94395"></A><FONT face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular">What Kind of "Fighter" Are You?</FONT></H3></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html"><H3 align="center"><I><FONT face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular">Do You...?</FONT></I></H3></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html"><UL>
											<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><FONT size="-1" face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular"><DIV>Avoid conflict at all costs?</DIV>
</FONT>
											</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><FONT size="-1" face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular"><DIV>Feel that any criticism or disagreement is an attack on you?</DIV>
</FONT>
											</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><FONT size="-1" face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular"><DIV>Hit "below the belt" and regret it later?</DIV>
</FONT>
											</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><FONT size="-1" face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular"><DIV>Feel "out of control" when conflict arises?</DIV>
</FONT>
											</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><FONT size="-1" face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular"><DIV>Withdraw and become silent when you're angry?</DIV>
</FONT>
											</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"><FONT size="-1" face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular">Store up complaints from the distant past?
</FONT>
										</LI></UL></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html"><FONT face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular"><A name="anchor97690"></A>Anger and Conflict</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html"><FONT face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular"><A name="anchor99347"></A>Conflict Styles</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html"><FONT face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular">
								"Mad Bomber," "Smolderer,"</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html"><FONT face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular">or Somewhere in Between?</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html"><FONT face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular"><A name="anchor101021"></A>To the Rescue... Fair Fighting!!!</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html"><FONT face="Arial,Helvetica,Geneva,Swiss,SunSans-Regular"><A name="anchor102963"></A>Fair Fighting: Ground rules</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html">Remain calm.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html">Express feelings in words</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html">Be specific</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html">Deal with only one issue at a time</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html">No "hitting below the belt.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html"><B>Avoid accusations.</B></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html">Don't generalize</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html">Avoid "make believe.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html">Don't stockpile</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html">Avoid clamming up.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html">Establish common ground rules.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html">At one time or another, most of us have done one or more of these things. That's because in most relationships, conflict inevitably arises, and for many of us it creates significant discomfort. But conflict, if handled appropriately, can actually strengthen relationships and improve our understanding of each other</blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/145096DF-8433-47D4-B672-57F79DCD2106/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>
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