The Wit and Wisdom of Homer Simpson...

mugofcoffee

4-28-2008 12:24 PM

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/ad5d3456-d9e3-4006-9086-a343c65e8462/1443E425-A5BB-491E-9BBA-799CB0B87291/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm" href="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm" style="font-size: 11px;">www.dribbleglass.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><div align="center"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.dribbleglass.com/img/941227A9-D5D9-4767-919A-A248CE1D7708" alt="homer1.gif (2446 bytes)" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><P>If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><P>Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don't even get 
    paid for the stuff they do?
<FONT size="1">Submitted by Russell C.</FONT></P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><P>I just wish once someone would call me "Sir" without adding, "You're 
    making a scene."
<FONT size="1">Submitted by Russell C.</FONT></P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><P>I wish God were alive to see this.
<FONT size="1">Submitted by Amy S.</FONT>
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><P>If God didn't want us to eat animals, then why'd he make them so tasty?
<FONT size="1">Submitted by Deb A.</FONT></P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><P>Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never 
    try.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><P>Operator! Give me the number for 911!</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><P>A woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good and you'd step over 
    your own mother just to get one.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><P>I never apologize, I'm sorry but that's the way I am.
<FONT size="1">Submitted by Mario</FONT></P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><table background="undefined" bgcolor=""><tr><TD width="150" bgcolor="#000080"><IMG width="150" height="21" alt="quote-left.gif (159 bytes)" src="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/../images/quote-left.gif" /><B>
<FONT size="5" color="#ffffff">It takes two to lie, Marge. One to 
              lie and one to listen.</FONT>
</B><IMG width="150" height="21" alt="quote-right.gif (155 bytes)" src="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/../images/quote-right.gif" /></TD></tr></table></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><P><FONT size="3">Internet. They have that on computers now?</FONT></P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.dribbleglass.com/Jokes/homer-simpson.htm"><P>Assaulting your family is one thing, but I will not stand idly by while you 
    feed a hungry dog.
<FONT size="1">Submitted by Rachel</FONT></P></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/1443E425-A5BB-491E-9BBA-799CB0B87291/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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