As Russia sobered up and began packing up its tanks and bomber groups, the source said it began feeling bad.

"So like Russia's like, 'come on man, you know that wasn't me, it was the vodka,' but the whole Security Council is like, 'Talk to the hand, Russia.' And then Russia's like, 'ummm, maybe I should just go.' Hoo-kay, Russia, whatever."

By the time the first Russian divisions began retreating back over the Caucasus late this afternoon, a reflective Russia was making diplomatic overtures toward atonement, including several whimsical Shoebox Greetings apology cards to the international community.


But some inside the diplomatic community say it may take time for Russia to get back on th...

As Russia sobered up and began packing up its tanks and bomber groups, the source said it began feeling bad.

"So like Russia's like, 'come on man, you know that wasn't me, it was the vodka,' but the whole Security Council is like, 'Talk to the hand, Russia.' And then Russia's like, 'ummm, maybe I should just go.' Hoo-kay, Russia, whatever."

By the time the first Russian divisions began retreating back over the Caucasus late this afternoon, a reflective Russia was making diplomatic overtures toward atonement, including several whimsical Shoebox Greetings apology cards to the international community.


But some inside the diplomatic community say it may take time for Russia to get back on the international A-List.

"It's a shame, because Russia is a such a great guy when he's not drinking and invading neighbors," said US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. "I think it might help if some of us got together and organized an intervention."

For his part Lavrov rejected the idea that his nation had a drinking and invading problem.

"Hey man, we can quit any time we want," he said.