21 Excuses for not Having Sex

CrazyRedHead

5-7-2008 9:34 AM

822 views

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/fddf950d-2c82-4ae4-918b-7d9702586ef0/10A07ED8-514E-4196-BDFD-E78462133980/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/global/" href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/global/" style="font-size: 11px;">www.timesonline.co.uk</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/global/"><div align="center"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.timesonline.co.uk/img/4CA93A8D-0BD8-419D-8E53-34B11EDF74D6" alt="Fluffy Handcuffs" /></div></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3838213.ece" href="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3838213.ece" style="font-size: 11px;">women.timesonline.co.uk</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3838213.ece"><P>
— You were in the mood an hour ago, then he insisted on watching more TV, and
now all you can think about is Heather Mills and gifted children.
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3838213.ece"><P>
— He has been remiss. You can’t remember exactly how, but it was earlier, and
you are still angry.
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3838213.ece"><P>
— You have drunk the perfect amount and now feel peculiar – any movement could
provoke nausea.
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3838213.ece"><P>
— He doesn’t seem to be as keen as he should be, and if he is waiting for you
to demonstrate keenness, which he may be, then you thought of it first.
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3838213.ece"><P>
— You are worrying about early-onset Alzheimer’s, particularly on account of
the keys-left-in-the-front-door incident.
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3838213.ece">
— You have noticed a large crack in the bedroom ceiling. This has led you into
a spiral of self-loathing because of the decorating that still needs to be
done</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3838213.ece"><P>
— You accidentally watched a documentary on Five called How to be Averagely
Good in Bed by 21st-Century Standards, and it has taken the wind out of your
sails.
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3838213.ece"><P>
— The dog is looking.
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3838213.ece"><P>
— You think you have a heart murmur.
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tags:

sex, health, humour, humor

CrazyRedHead says:

— You can’t stop thinking about all the stuff you have to do tomorrow, and what you really want to do is find a pencil and a piece of paper.
— You have your teeth-whitening equipment in.
— You are bloody tired.
— You have hiccups.
— He hasn’t shaved.
— You think the heating might still be on. It is unbelievably hot.
— It is too cold to risk the duvet moving at all.

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