"Now Morgan Tsvangirai may have championed dignified courageous non violence

In helping the people of Zimbabwe endure Robert Mugabes malevolence,

He may have urged peace when Mugabe brought war

He may have turned the other cheek a hundred times before

And given hope to millions of a better way of life

While Robert Mugabe thought to scare em with the knife

And Tsvangirai still endured when the bastards killed his wife

Telling people not to kill in the face of killers' strife

But that don't impress me much

"Now Morgan Tsvangirai may have championed dignified courageous non violence

In helping the people of Zimbabwe endure Robert Mugabes malevolence,

He may have urged peace when Mugabe brought war

He may have turned the other cheek a hundred times before

And given hope to millions of a better way of life

While Robert Mugabe thought to scare em with the knife

And Tsvangirai still endured when the bastards killed his wife

Telling people not to kill in the face of killers' strife

But that don't impress me much

Dooh dooh de doo.

Oh sure Tsvangirai makes peace when other men make butcher stew

But we Norwegians much prefer black freedom fighters who actually murder people too

Like Nelson Mandela and child killer Winnie pooh.

Now don't get me wrong I think Tsvangirai's alright

But that won't turn America into a Soviet Socialist Republic overnight.

Nern, nern, nern.

That don't impress me mucchhhhhhhh.

Now there's an Afghan lady who defies Al Qaeda Taliban.

But in the Nobel Prize she's just an also ran.

And they threatened her life and still she won't lie down.

For true women's rights she just stands and holds her ground

She's not really black and she's not really white,

And she told the Muslim psychos to go and have a shite

But that don't impress me much

Dern, dern, dern,

Oh she sure she's got panache

And a certain amount of guts

[i]But her idea of woman's rights don't involv...

read more»

Now there's an Afghan lady who defies Al Qaeda Taliban.

But in the Nobel Prize she's just an also ran.

And they threatened her life and still she won't lie down.

For true women's rights she just stands and holds her ground

She's not really black and she's not really white,

And she told the Muslim psychos to go and have a shite

But that don't impress me much

Dern, dern, dern,

Oh she sure she's got panache

And a certain amount of guts

But her idea of woman's rights don't involve our favourite distortions

For instance she's absolutely useless at promoting condoms and abortions

So that don't impress me much

Dern, dern, de dern.

Oh sure she defied the Mussies

And sure she's got a tush

Now don't get me wrong

I think she's alright

But that won't make America surrender to the Jihadis without a fight,

Nern, nern, nern.

That don't impress me much.

As for the Chinese dissidents also nominated

Much too keen on democracy to ever be seriously rated

We in Norway prefer our heroes racked

In ranks of Marxian ideology and not holding back

Against the socialism of the age which comes wrapped in a sack

Of free money and hand outs and victim culture pap

And it also kinda helps

If you're the proper shade of black.

Nern, nern, nern.

We don't want any pacifistic farters

We much prefer black Marxian Jimmy Carters

[i...

read more»

As for the Chinese dissidents also nominated

Much too keen on democracy to ever be seriously rated

We in Norway prefer our heroes racked

In ranks of Marxian ideology and not holding back

Against the socialism of the age which comes wrapped in a sack

Of free money and hand outs and victim culture pap

And it also kinda helps

If you're the proper shade of black.

Nern, nern, nern.

We don't want any pacifistic farters

We much prefer black Marxian Jimmy Carters

Nern, nern, nern.

Now don't get me wrong

The Chinese dissidents are alright

But they won't collapse the free world

While sloganeering about what's right.

They don't impress me much.

Oh sure they've endured sixty years of communist dictatorship

But who cares a toss

What's sixty years against nine months of Barack's corrupt socialistic incompetent Guantanamo bay closing dross.

Now that impresses me much.

Nern, nern ner ner.

Surrendering to the Jihadis and socialising the States.

That's gotta be worth a Nobel Peace Prize or two alright.

Because that's the sort of thing that keeps us Norwegians warm and cosy at night.

Nern, nern, nern.

Hoo boy."

Other Nobel Prize winners announced this evening included Beyonce and
Lady Gaga who respectively received the Nobel Prize for Physics and the
Nobel Prize for Economics.

When reporters asked Thorbjorn Lagaland
why the Nobel Prize for Physics and the Nobel Prize for Economics were
being given to two pop singers, he replied: "Let's face it we're giving
a Nobel Prize to every half witted debauched treasonous f---ing
c---s-ck-r these days."

These were the only true words ever spoken by a member of the Nobel Prize committee in living memory.

Al
Gore who won a Nobel Prize for Peace back in 2007 when the Nobel
committee was hoping he might stand for P...

read more»

Other Nobel Prize winners announced this evening included Beyonce and
Lady Gaga who respectively received the Nobel Prize for Physics and the
Nobel Prize for Economics.

When reporters asked Thorbjorn Lagaland
why the Nobel Prize for Physics and the Nobel Prize for Economics were
being given to two pop singers, he replied: "Let's face it we're giving
a Nobel Prize to every half witted debauched treasonous f---ing
c---s-ck-r these days."

These were the only true words ever spoken by a member of the Nobel Prize committee in living memory.

Al
Gore who won a Nobel Prize for Peace back in 2007 when the Nobel
committee was hoping he might stand for President of the United States
and wished to help his putative campaign any way it could, was
unavailable for comment.

The official reason Al Gore received the
2007 Nobel Prize for Peace was in recognition of his valiant efforts to
distract public attention from the danger to western democracy
represented by the terror armies spewing forth from dysfunctioning
Muslim dictatorships, and instead focussing people's attention on much
more groovy and thoroughly fictional environmental concerns.

The
Nobel Prize Committee has never formally admitted to endorsing the
Democratic Party's attempts to turn the United States into a socialist
country.

Friday's ceremony's concluded with a song from the new Chairperson of the Nobel Committee, Miss Dee Lite who sang Groove Is In The Heart.

It's about the price of them.