<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/1e8217d8-9d40-4777-aafd-1d4bf4c0985e/06970C97-137C-4A4A-A312-4E8A760D38C5/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/10/" href="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/10/" style="font-size: 11px;">www.onelinerz.net</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/10/"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_19817">Why is it called Alcoholics ANONYMOUS when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'? </DIV></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content7.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/9/" href="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/9/" style="font-size: 11px;">www.onelinerz.net</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/9/"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_14357">If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?</DIV></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/11/" href="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/11/" style="font-size: 11px;">www.onelinerz.net</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/11/"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_14886">A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/11/"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_11589">Tell a man there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/11/"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_17638">I hate graffiti. In fact, I hate all Italian food.</DIV></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/" href="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/" style="font-size: 11px;">www.onelinerz.net</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_15237">I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.</DIV></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/6/" href="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/6/" style="font-size: 11px;">www.onelinerz.net</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/6/"><table background="undefined" bgcolor=""><tr><TD width="80%"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_13526">If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?</DIV></TD></tr></table></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/6/"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_11177">It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/6/"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_13045">It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/6/"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_10544">Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?</DIV></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content7.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/8/" href="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/8/" style="font-size: 11px;">www.onelinerz.net</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/8/"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_14901">Don't steal. That's the government's job.</DIV></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/9/" href="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/9/" style="font-size: 11px;">www.onelinerz.net</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.onelinerz.net/runners-up-top-100-funny-one-liners/9/"><DIV class="oneliner" id="oneliner_16881">Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.</DIV></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/06970C97-137C-4A4A-A312-4E8A760D38C5/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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