NOTE: If you're already involved with one of these people and can't walk away, even though your life is at-risk, seek professional help. Your situation is way too complex for this guide.

Hot damn, now thats funny. Plus I relate.

My cats trained me to believe that I rule. Our relationship is sort of symbiotic (so they meow to me)

I love the cat's s#!&-eating grin!

Quite neat. Reminds me, vaguely, of some movie dialog:

"Are you married?"
"I have a cat."
"That's hardly the same thing."
"You haven't met my cat. It's very demanding."
"It? You don't even know if it's a boy or a girl?"
"I respect its privacy."
-- Minnie Driver & John Cusack, "Grosse Point Blank"

ROFL! I love that movie. And yes she has a point.

Dogs have masters
Cats have staff