"I dunno what Tiger eats for breakfast, but it sure doesn't agree with his bowels! And, instead of nipping his cheeks together at crucial moments to stifle the fart, he bends his knees and pushes down on his diaphragm to expel some of the longest trumps I've ever had the misfortune to have witnessed, so help me God!"

The USPGA has said that it will investigate any claims that players are trying to gain an advantage by breaking wind loudly, and will deal severely with any found doing so.