The OLDEST Tricks in the Book List


	The OLDEST Tricks in the Book List

revenantdm

5-11-2008 8:48 AM

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revenantdm says:

OK, probably not book maybe cave wall... McSweeney's IS the greatest place on the Net for Lists...

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</FONT></BASEFONT="4"><H1 class="title"><FONT face="times, times new roman" _moz-rs-heading=""><FONT size="+1">The Oldest Tricks<BR />in the Book.</FONT> </FONT></H1>
<P align="center"><FONT face="times, times new roman"><FONT size="-1">BY <A href="http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/mailto:neil@brackishwater.net">NEIL REYNOLDS </A></FONT></FONT></p> <P align="center"><FONT face="times, times new roman"><FONT size="-1">- - - -</FONT></FONT></p> <P><FONT face="times, times new roman">Tap neighbor on left shoulder. When he turns to look, club his wife and drag her to your cave.
</FONT></P><P align="center"><FONT face="times, times new roman"><FONT size="-1">- - - -</FONT></FONT></p> <P><FONT face="times, times new roman">Kill mammoth. Crawl into mammoth carcass. When saber-toothed tiger comes to feast, explode from mammoth with spear.
</FONT></P><P align="center"><FONT face="times, times new roman"><FONT size="-1">- - - -</FONT></FONT></p> <P><FONT face="times, times new roman">Trek to volcano with bundle of sticks. Plunge sticks into molten rock. Retread your path by night, being careful to keep torch burning. Arrive at dwelling. Claim discovery of fire.
</FONT></P><P align="center"><FONT face="times, times new roman"><FONT size="-1">- - - -</FONT></FONT></p> <P><FONT face="times, times new roman">Tell wife you go to hunt. Instead, sneak off and watch sunset.
</FONT></P><P align="center"><FONT face="times, times new roman"><FONT size="-1">- - - -</FONT></FONT></p> <P><FONT face="times, times new roman">Trap child in deep recess of cave where he cannot escape. Perform elaborate shadow play on cave walls. Expose him to truth when he is old enough to hunt mammoth.
</FONT></P><P align="center"><FONT face="times, times new roman"><FONT size="-1">- - - -</FONT></FONT></p> <P><FONT face="times, times new roman">Kill mammoth. Crawl into mammoth carcass. When neighbor comes to feast, explode from mammoth with cake.
</FONT></P><P><FONT face="times, times new roman"> 
</FONT></P><P align="center"><FONT face="times, times new roman"><A href="http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/">MORE LISTS</A></FONT></p> <P><FONT face="times, times new roman"> 
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