It seems that the reindeer formerly known as Blitzen had recently converted to Islam, assuming his new name, ablitzu-az-adeer. These facts remained unconfirmed however as Ridge stated, “we had solid intelligence, increased chatter levels, and unnamable sources close to the detainee which gave us pause to believe that he was planning a major operation, covering several countries in the world, later this month. It involved the delivery of multiple “packages” to unsuspecting domestic targets”. When asked if these packages were actually referred to as “presents” by the incarcerated, Mr. Ridge replied, “Yes, there is apparently no end to his twisted sickness”.

No worries TN, I recently converted Blitzen to steaks and jerky, terror threat is over, as for the jolly old elf, he has run every blockade since Pilate was a private in the Roman Legion, some good stuff he puts in his pipe, Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.